Today was not what I expected. Unlike a lot of people, I love my job. I'll write more about my job later (in fact it's on my list of things I want to write about this month), but having to go home sick today reminded me of how truly grateful I am to have it, and to have the life I have now.
My job is a needed distraction for me and one of the only things I feel genuinely good at. I sometimes don't feel like a good friend, mom or person in general but I know I'm a good makeup artist. At least, I think I am. I know I work really hard and I love what I do. I know that if I were to become independently wealthy one day I would still be a makeup artist.
This same time last year I found myself working full-time at a drug store. It was the same job I had when I was 16. Now, there is nothing wrong with working in a drug store- any job is a dignified one as far as I'm concerned. Not to mention, I had a great boss and wonderful coworkers. Yes, my pride took a hit because I was used to flying all over the country doing makeup for publication or working for the most recognizable and profitable cosmetic brand in the world. But I was happy to have this drug store job because it provided for my kids. Barely.
I grossed $900 per month and my rent was $850. I worked 12-hour shifts 3-4 days per week so that the days I had my kids would be completely dedicated to them. I was exhausted all the time but trying the best I could with what I had. Being sick was not an option despite working directly in the path where customers traveled from the entryway to the pharmacy to pick up their prescriptions, because THEY were sick. There were days where I would be standing behind the counter with that familiar lower back-ache that you get when you know you have the flu, trying to talk myself out of it. "Do not get sick, do not get sick, do not get sick." In the slow times I would listen to the sad songs on the Muzak and think of how much my life sucked, or look at the Christmas gifts we had just put out and wonder how I was going to provide presents for my boys. One day I was racing to work so I wouldn't be late and got a speeding ticket, which wiped out an entire day's pay. Every day felt like I was drowning.
Today I came to my job where I feel like I have a springboard for the future. I can always find something to do and I feel supported as well as purposeful. It came on suddenly- one moment I was fine and the next I was sick. I was trying to push through it and happened to tell my boss I didn't feel well. She said, "then why are you here? You should go home."
And I realized that I could do that. If I went home sick I would not be facing financial ruin. This doesn't seem like a big deal for some people but for too many people it's a reality. The only reason I got through that season of my life is because of help from my church. I was working a full-time job, I have an education, but I was working a low-wage job and could not get by if I was sick or unavailable to work for even a few hours.
I think everyone wants someone to care for them when they're not feeling well. I was sort of lamenting not having someone like this in my life while I was picking up soup, orange juice and medicine. Then I thought again, about how I had a car to pick it up, money to pay for it and place to return home to rest. I'm still not feeling well but I am thankful for the luxury of being able to be ill. I'm thankful I can leave work, get medicine and rest.
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