Growing up I remember my daddy telling me if I ever got into a fight, that there was no such thing as fighting fair. Pull hair, hit below the belt, sucker punch, poke someone in the eyes. The purpose of a fight isn't to be polite or play by rules, he said. Its to survive being attacked by another person.
That stayed with me for a long time and ingrained itself in my psyche. My daddy was trying to protect me and empower me to stand up for myself if someone tried to victimize me. I imagine it was and is probably very hard to be a father and raise a daughter. I don't know if he would have given the same advice if he had a son, but I know he wasn't a fool and he knew he couldn't always be there if I was in danger.
Maybe the tides are turning with how the next generation is raised to react to conflict. Many people flag themselves as victims, or retaliate under the anonymity of the Internet, or use that same platform to publicly shame the ones who hurt them. Maybe they internalize it until they're bullied into thinking suicide is a viable solution. There are a lot of ways we all try to cope with having wrong done to us. But one thing changed the way I see the world.
I heard a conversation between a cop and a drug dealer. The dealer said, "what you make in a month, I make in a day." The officer responded by saying, "when I go home from work I don't have to watch my back." It took a long time between hearing that statement and letting it actually apply to my life. Seeking my own justice, or the easy way, or trying to seek revenge on someone who wronged me, almost always ended the same way. From the lessons of my daddy, when someone wrongs you, all bets are off and your morals can sit on the bench- it's your time to take an eye for an eye or a tooth for a tooth. But the problem with that is the score is never settled.
I started living my life based on what I knew was right instead of what I thought I had the right to do. And now, my life is much better. I watch the people that do me wrong and allow them to show their true colors- and they always do. There are multiple passages in the Bible that say "may my enemies fall into the trap they set for me." If you're quiet, if you're honest, if you hold your ground peacefully, and if you live in a way where you can stand by what you do (even if people don't agree, approve or understand) you never have to prove that they're bad and you're good.
I'm thankful for my daddy for telling me to stand up for myself. I'm thankful to that police officer for saying something when they didn't even know they were being watched or overheard, for perfectly illustrating how to walk it out the right way.
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