I heard someone say once, "there are people who are in our lives for a reason, for a season, or for a lifetime." Today I am thankful for a person that changed the way I look at myself in the mirror, in the most literal of ways.
I once had a tattoo on my chest that said, "ich leide für Sie," German for "I suffer for you." It was a symbol of my devotion and my willingness to endure whatever it took to prove my love. That was tested to the fullest degree, and I discovered a few things about myself. The first was that I hated and did not respect myself. The second was that I was breaking myself for a love that did not exist. The third was that someone who loves you will never ask you to break yourself for them. For some these are lessons learned early, for some these are lessons never learned. I had to learn them the hard way but I am thankful to have learned them.
One day while I was driving I found myself praying out loud. I said "Lord, I know I had an idol in my life. I know that you've forgiven me and you've freed me. But there is still this thing on my chest. If there's a way for to cover it or to change it into something that glorifies You, please show me. I am listening and waiting."
I was headed for a morning prayer group and put in my prayer request. Two people in the group gave me the name of the same tattoo artist. Then a half an hour later, someone else texted me the name of the same person, not knowing I had been thinking about this- they just knew I had tattoos and might like this particular artist.
His name was Daniel and he was also a believer. I told him the story behind the existing tattoo and how I wanted to do something about it. We agreed to pray about what this new thing should be and reconvene at a time in the near future. That week was powerful. Daniel said he kept seeing the number four wherever he went. I kept seeing butterflies. A friend wrote to me and told me out of nowhere that in the Victorian love language, azaleas meant "take care of yourself for me." It all seemed to come together so seamlessly.
People used to ask me about the tattoo on my chest and I would feel embarrassment or shame. Sometimes I would even lie about what it meant. Now I have a tattoo that is also a testimony, and when people ask about it I can share my story with them. I am thankful for this chance to share my faith and the miracle that took place to make it happen.
I'm thankful for the person- someone who showed me that there are men with integrity- who helped this transformation happen. While he was tattooing over the words he was praying out loud, and said "Angela, God wants you to know you don't have to suffer for anyone ever again, because Jesus suffered for you when He died for you."
I'm thankful that we are never in a fixed state, we always have the power to make changes and to break away from what enslaves us. I've made many transformations that people cannot see, but I am thankful for this one that is with me wherever I go.
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